(anti)depression diaries: week 7
work retreat, toddler dance rave and many trips to the big playground
Hello, welcome to my (anti) depression diaries. These weekly entries serve as my visual archive of what I am doing in the midst of heavy mental health fog.These entries, this archive is my response to my inner critic who tells me that I do not do enough. I am very inspired by poet Safia Elhillo who does this weekly diary series crafted after the Grub Street Diet. Here you will find my daily rhythms of musings, food routines, mothering, 9-5 work and creative practice. It’s a delicate and wild and terrifying and beautiful balance. So please join me as I quiet my imposter syndrome, engage in shadow work and write about what’s really happening for me. I will continue writing these until my battle with my inner critique is won and the fog turns into clear skies.
SUNDAY
8:30 AM - Everyone sleeps in and we get ready for the day. I turn the oven on to make bacon and hashbrowns. Later, Jose comes down and makes eggs. We have breakfast together.
11:00 AM - I want to take a walk and Opal really wants to go with me, so I take her. I mostly stroll her through the Bird Island path at The Ford House. I point out baby geese, sail boats and purple flowers. A couple times she gets out of the stroller to frollick joyfully. Towards the end of our walk she asks where the playground is. I snap a picture of a trillium.
1:30 PM - We grab some snacks from the park cafe and drive back for nap.
2:00 PM - After dropping her off, I head back to go to the library to write and chill out awhile. I sit on the second floor so I can look out the windows at the flowering trees in the courtyard.
4:00 PM - I head to Trader Joe’s to pick up ingredients for dinners the first half of the week. So glad I don’t have to worry about breakfast and lunch because of a work retreat.
6:00 PM - I am home and we have leftovers, then we have some popcorn and watch Winnie the Pooh the rest of the night.
8:30 PM - Opal gets ready for bed and I read a bit of my saved articles and poems from my “reader sooner than later” bookmark section.
MONDAY
8:00- Opal and I get up. She eats baby yogurt while I pack Jose’s breakfast and lunch. I make a yogurt and berry covered chocolate rice cake for a snack.
9:00 AM -Opal’s grandparents come to pick her up for the day.
9:45 AM - We arrive at the office. I grab breakfast which is catered by Iggy’s, a hasbrown and egg sandwich place that I adore.
10:15 AM - The first half of the retreat day one starts, we do some goofy improv and begin with history setting and a few conversational activities.
1:00 PM - We have our lunch break , It’s Arabic food. I talk to my good friend and coworker Leila at lunch and learn she has gotten into an amazing PHD program.
2:00 PM - The retreat starts back up. I am activated by some folks so I go in emotional regulation room, which is lead by one of my project leads, to do some somatic exercises , play with kinetic sand & color a Mandala.
4:00 PM - I am sitting right by the snacks, by strategy, so I begin eating the dark chocolate covered raisins. They’re better than expected. I also grab my fourth sparkling water.
5:00 PM- Jose, Opal and I head home to have leftover pizza and mac and cheese for Opal.
7:00 PM - I am exhausted from the retreat but it was really good overall so I feel good about how it went. I go outside with Opal to play with bubbles and sidewalk chalk.
9:00 PM - Opal goes down for bed and I pass out.
TUESDAY
8:30 AM - We head out for daycare so that I can get to the retreat on time for the good food.
9:30 AM - I get to the office and we’re doing Q’s for both breakfast and lunch. Breakfast is an incredibly season egg dish with beakfast meats and a few other sides like fruit and bread.
10:15 AM - retreat starts same as yesterday with improv and even more hilarity. We do an altar building activity, I get paired with Mackenzie and we make ancestor flowers. I talk to both Mackenzie and Kwaku about doing more work together and meeting up soon.
1:00 PM - Lunch break, it’s a pasta bar, which I had never heard of before but there’s gf option which is great and a vegan ginger-spiced pesto. It’s nice. I eat on the 5th floor and laugh with my team. Elysse calls to be let in so I go down the elevator to get her and then grab some pasta for Jose too.
2:00 PM - The retreat starts back up and we go to the Rooftop to see the best Detroit sights but its a little cold so we don’t last long.
4:00 PM- We close out with a dance party and talk all the best things Detroit: food, loved ones, places to go.
6:00 PM - We get home and Jose makes the pasta (that I thought was soup based on the recipe picture. It’s great and easy enough, pesto sauce with tomatoes and burrata.
7:00 PM- We snack on Trader Joe’s new crackers savory squares, they’re basically gf/df cheeze-its and I need three more boxes.
9:00 PM- After putting Opal down, I am absolutely exhausted. Part of me loved the retreat but the other part is so people-d out.
WEDNESDAY
9:00 AM - Opal’s grandparents arrive because Jose is in a conference all day.
10:00 AM - I watch Forever while I eat breakfast that I saw _ do : 1/3 oatmeal, 1/3 granola, 1/3 yogurt with dark chocolate raisins sprinkled on top. It’s incredible.
10:30 AM- I catch up on inbox , process my work PD and prepare for meetings later in the day.
12:30 PM - I decide to order Chipotle for lunch, it always hits and is the cheapest delivery with their app.
2:00 PM -I send off some contracts for approval and Slack a few folks about a few Asana tasks and funds.
5:00 PM - Jose and Opal come home, we have more pasta & sausages. It’s incredible and I feel rich because I have so much food.
7:00 PM - Opal wants to play in her room so I chase her around the crib. We also play hide and seek.
9:00 PM- Jose puts down Opal and I read some more poetry.
THURSDAY
8:30 AM - We head to daycare ( we’ve had childcare everyday this week & that’s what it should look like!)
9:00 AM - We go to Flytrap for breakfast and Forest bakery for favorite treats.
11:00 AM - I tackle some Asana tasks, have meetings with Char and a project that ended up canceling, then I conduct some contract management.
12:30 PM - Break for lunch and watch Forever. For lunch, I make a salad of quinoa, greens, oranges, avocados, chicken & truffle marcona almonds.
2:00 PM - I do some more meetings and then finish up remaining tasks for the week.
5:00 PM - We pick up Opal from daycare, she is covered in marker and sand ( which for the record is incredible) so I put her in the bathtub. I got her some new dinosaur bath toys. Opal and I make up stories about them and her rubber duckies and Bluey bath toys.
6:30 PM - I heat up our pasta leftovers and add some slow simmered cherry tomatoes, Tomatoes are in season and just incredible.
7:30 PM - Opal and I play outside with her strawberry bubble machine.
9:00 PM- We get Opal ready for bed, I read more of Patrycja’s book. I am almost done!
FRIDAY
8:00 AM - Today is a little cooler so I am excited to get up and make baked oatmeal. Opal helps me and is excited too—until she sees that we are adding peanut butter. I think she doesn’t like the texture. She cries, no, no peanut butter, no, no.
10:30 AM - Opal and Jose head out to give me sometime for my therapy. I bring a bunch of things that I am wanting for this space and that I am proud of.
12:00 PM - After therapy, I go downstairs and watch Your Friends & Neighbors on the couch while eating more Savory Squares.
1:00 PM - Opal and Jose come back home. Jose heads out. Opal and I go over to the playground for a little while and she sees her friend Zoe, the dog, so she pets her and squeals at her for awhile.
1:30 PM - We head back inside and have ice cold packs and cheesticks. After that she goes potty and I get her ready for nap time.
2:30 PM - After I get her down, I upload my writing info and materials for a writers retreat in June. I start watching Sirens and its so much better than I imagined. Shoutout Netflix for churning out so many bangers.
4:00 PM - Opal wakes up. We play with her gabby cats for awhile and then back across to the street to the playground, after about 20 minutes Jose picks up and we head to the big playground and Trader Joe’s.
5:30 PM - After grabbing groceries and playing, I do not feel like cooking so we order some arabic food for dinner.
7:00 PM - We get home and I make some spaghetti for Opal, can never get fully out of prepping food.
8:30 PM - Opal listens to stories on her play phone and I text with Katie.
9:30 PM- We head upstairs for bed, everyone potties and Opal falls asleep quickly after having a play-filled day.
SATURDAY
8:30 AM - We are up so I heat up baked oatmeal leftovers for me and give Opal some baby yogurts.
10:00 AM - It’s Movement weekend and a local daycare is honoring it with a Toddler Techno Dance Party. We arrive and its so much more low key than the one we went to a couple weeks ago. Because it’s at a daycare, the space already kid-friendly and I see my friends Cyrah and Siobahn, who I haven’t seen in awhile, with their children.
12:00 PM - After the dance party we go to the library. I have to admit that it is not the most fun for Opal’s age so we do not spend very much time there.
1:30 PM - We head home for nap time. After she goes down, I watch more sirens and eat chocolate rice cakes.
3:30 PM- Opal wakes up and we go back out to the big playground. We order pizza from a newer spot for dinner.
6:00 PM- We are finally home and eating the yummy pizza. The gluten free pizza is oblong shaped in flatbread style. I think it’s pretty good but the shape is strange.
8:00 PM - Opal and I read some of her books and play with stuffed animals before we go upstairs to take a bath before bedtime.
9:30 PM - Bedtime is upon us. It’s wild how many times I have to go up and down the stairs to get everything we need ( Opal’s sheepie, Opal’s penguin blanket, Jose water cup)
SUNDAY
8:30 AM - I clean up the dishes and counter so that Opal and I can begin making waffles. We are doubling recipe which can be a gamble with a toddler who doesn’t know how to crack eggs but we are charting forward. The waffles are perfect and golden brown.
9:30 AM - After the waffles, we clean up this corner that has been collecting a lot of Opal’s toys, used bowls, art supplies and God knows what else. I start using my Pomo timer with 25 minutes but about two and half hours later, I am finally done.
1:00 PM- Jose puts down Opal and I head out for the day. I decide I want to do a self-care day. So I start by going to Beyond Juice for lunch and go shopping for fun at a few of my favorite local boutiques. I wrap my afternoon with a Panera smoothi and finish the last episode of Sirens. Woah!
4:00 PM- I work on my grocery list for next week and head back home to pick up Opal and Jose to take them to the big playground.
6:00 PM - After getting home, we eat the rest of our pizza leftovers and settle in for a groggy evening. We watch more Winnie the Pooh and just like that, the week ends the way it started.
Tune in next week to see how the first week of June treats us!